Lesson #32
MARRIAGE

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Reading: 1 Corinthians7

Marriage is an agreement entered into before witnessesand usually registered by state officials, whereby one man and one womanagree to live together. This means that everyone knows their intentionsand the marriage should form a sound basis for bringing up children whocan feel secure as part of a family.

Christian marriage is that and much more. The promisesmade before witnesses are also made in the presence of God, and they arelasting promises.

The divine ideal is that one husband and wife should livetogether always.

Husband and wife

God made the first woman, Eve, out of Adam's side (Genesis2: 21-24). He could have made her out of the dust of the ground, just likeAdam, but he wanted to teach Adam, as well as us, that man and woman belongtogether and are to live together as though they were "one flesh"(v 24). This is the foundation of a happy Christian marriage - husband andwife who live to help, strengthen, and enjoy one another, in the daily awarenessof the presence of God.

Although God made man and woman to live together, thisis not compulsory - some people do not need or want the company and supportof a husband or wife. Paul advised the brethren and sisters in Corinth thatthey should only marry if they felt that they needed to (1 Corinthians7).

When two children of God are married before God it is forlife. Jesus said, "What therefore God hath joined together, letnot man put asunder".

Sex outside marriage

God created sex, and gave it to us as a gift to enjoy andto enable the world to be populated. However, He is quite clear that itshould not be practised outside marriage. The Bible condemns all misusesof sex. Sex before marriage and adultery, prostitution, homosexuality andincest are all specifically condemned. The proper and only place for sexis within marriage. The Bible says:

"Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offendersÖwill inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6: 9, 10, NIV)

(However, Paul does make it clear that repentance and baptismleads to the washing away of these sins, see verse 11).

Choice of husband or wife

The Bible makes it quite clear that

Believers should marry believers.

Since husband and wife are to live together as spiritualpartners (the apostle Peter calls them "heirs together of the graceof life" - 1 Peter 3: 7), they must share the same faith, and sameunderstanding about what the Bible teaches. A believer who marries an unbelieverwill find difficulty and conflict in the marriage. So it is no wonder thatPaul says:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6: 14)

and in respect of a widow:

"The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7: 39)

But what if someone who comes to believe in God is alreadymarried to a partner who does not share their beliefs? Should they separate,or should they stay with their unbelieving partner?

This was a common problem in the first century. As thegospel was preached and people came to hear and believe in it, they werebaptized into Christ's name. However, sometimes their families remainedunbelievers and there was division within the family.

Paul wrote to the Corinthians who wondered what to do aboutthis situation and told them:

"And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." (1 Corinthians 7: 13ñ15)

So wherever possible, the believer should not seek to changethe situation, but try to show by example how wonderful the peace of Godis.

Other similar problems may arise due to the circumstancesof life before baptism, and these can be very complex, with many scripturalprinciples involved. The right course of action depends on the particularcircumstance.

A sound marriage

A devout, caring Christian husband and wife are a greatblessing, both to each other and to those with whom they worship God. Forthe husband, the pattern of family life is always set by the Lord JesusChrist. His was a very high standard of love and care for all those he metin life. Yet, writing to Ephesians, the apostle Paul explained that husbandsare to behave in the family just as Christ behaved towards his followers:

 

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5: 23-25)

Jesus' example was as one who serves (Luke 22: 27), andhe considered the needs of others more important than his own (Matthew 14:14). Jesus took a firm positive lead, and the husband following Jesus' examplewould lead the family in worship and instruction, family prayers and dailyBible reading.

The husband should regard himself and be regarded as thehead of the family, responsible for their lives before God, and he shouldthink of his home as the church in miniature.

For the wife, their responsibilities complement those ofthe husband. She is equally important in the spiritual direction of thehousehold, particularly in teaching the ways of God to the children.

The apostle Paul instructed Titus to:

"Teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, pure, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2: 4, 5)

The book of Proverbs describes a good wife in chapter 31.She is one that her husband can trust absolutely, who "will do himgood and not evil all the days of his life" (verse 12). She isa hard worker for herself and her family, she is kind and understanding,and she is one "that feareth the Lord" (verse 30).

The Divine ideal in Christian marriage is for two believers to live together to the glory of God.

Summary

1. Marriage was given by God and is good and right.

2. To stay single and not to marry is acceptable to God.

3. Sex is a gift of God that belongs in marriage.

4. Believers are only allowed to marry other believers.

5. Both husband and wife should live according to Bible guidance in their marriage.

Chapters to read: Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31: 10-31, 1 Timothy 3,
Colossians 3: 12-25

A good verse to memorise: Matthew 19: 5, 6

"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

 

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